Process: How We Forgot the 11th Commandment

As a child, I remember hearing this wise saying. For me, it was the single wisest thing which could ever have
been said to anyone and had the power to transform the world for the better. This was the 11th Commandment, a message which those in power have attempted to wash away from the world and keep hidden. It is a secret phrase which, if allowed to exist in the world of men, would restructure the world and
restructure our society as we know it. It has the ability to trump every theory concerning black holes, all of the research concerning the Human Genome Project, and will allow the poorest person on the planet to become the richest and most powerful person the world has ever known.

This is not a polite suggestion, as God does not deal in such matters. No, this is a code of conduct which we
are all to follow. For centuries, entire societies were built around this commandment, and entire empires were forged. However, as the years went on, fewer and fewer were allowed to know this final Commandment, and an aristocracy was developed. It wasn’t until public education was formed that society as a whole made the attempt to right this wrong, reminding students at an extremely early age if they weren’t living up to the 11th commandment through failing grades. Nowadays, most public education systems have eliminated the moral building which comes with teaching the 11th to students, and our society has neglected to imbue the 11th into society at large. Are you ready to know what the 11th Commandment is? Here it goes:

Thou Shalt Not be Stupid.

The only thing that we still have in society that keeps the 11th alive in culture are organizations like colleges, blue collar work, some white collar and various levels of the military. Even still, most of these areas have been
under attack in previous decades, as calling someone out for stupidity is seen as offensive. In most situations, blue collar trades and the military are safe on the lower ends, as one is expected to have thicker skin to be involved in that line of work anyhow. White collar jobs like doctors and lawyers are paramount in following the 11th, as people will either die or lose a lot of money if someone does not know what they are doing. Engineers who are clueless will immediately be pointed out if their building falls down. However, the biggest problem comes from colleges, who either are seen as the bad guys for not following the pauper standards of public education or are babying grown men and women by resuming the process at a higher price tag. This builds the entitlement culture which we see plaguing younger generations today, all built around a society which has done it’s hardest to avoid the 11th at all costs.

How can we fix this? Well, we can start by acknowledging that offensiveness isn’t a bad thing. All offending
someone does is make them uncomfortable. When you are uncomfortable, you learn something new. Even if that is when someone tells you “you’re an idiot,” you’ve uncomfortably learned that someone thought that you’re dumb, and can now adjust accordingly. If enough people make you feel bad about being stupid, that may be God trying to tell you to adjust yourself, that you’re not obeying his commandment in your life. It’ll be impossible to adhere to this commandment, however, if we continue to try to ignore the most powerful law in mankind’s history.

Fireside Chat: On a Monday

Fireside Chat was made for this purpose. It was something for me to do that was a bit informal, for me to be able to use to give an account on what i feel like is a pressing matter in my life. For those who know me, who have followed my journey (first of all, thank you!), you will know that i have had quite the adventure with pain since my injuries from the Army. Nerve damage, degenerating discs, arthritis, brain damage, knee damage, inability to feel hot or cold, and migraines from light and sound. This has limited me to very few activities and has caused a lot of nervousness with my loved ones in me doing simple things like going to the gym or doing household chores. Sometimes, it’s justified. My pride can get in the way and make me go a bit too far and injure myself. Other times, i just feel like nothing more than a checkbook and a warm body for my family.

For the past week, there’s been a new symptom. Everything i touch, everything that touches me, is painful. You know how it feels rubbing your finger across the scratchy side of Velcro? That’s kind of how it feels to me. Even typing this post is painful to me right now. Picking up my drink right now is painful. The water in my mouth sloshing around is painful. Even swallowing it feels like a billow brush. Last night, i ended up drinking too much trying to dull the pain, and went to the hospital. Due to the flu, i was told that i had some spinal cord problems, was given a couple of shots, and was sent home. I’m still in agony, but i don’t want to have a repeat of last night. There is a high bar of diminishing returns when it comes to that particular flavor of medicine!

The good news is that, if i have spinal cord problems, i should be able to get more money for my VA compensation. The bad news is that there’s not a lot they can do to help me. I’m maxed out on my Gabapentin, they won’t give me more opioids. My other half is more hopeful about the idea of something being done, but i can tell that it’s taking it’s toll on her. She can’t touch me without hurting me right now, and i know that is hurtful for her. I’m just accepting the situation for what it is: it will never get better, i will continue to get worse and worse, and i feel terrible for even being here because i just feel like a constant burden to her.

In a rare instance, I’m asking for help. Leave a comment and tell me what i can do (LEGALLY! I’m not going to a drug dealer Josh, so don’t even ask!). Should i keep my thoughts and my pain inside like i have been or should i be more open at a risk to hurting her more? Let me know which one is healthier.

Fireside Chat: How Depression Can Kill You

The last Fireside Chat that I wrote was on the 10th of November, 2019. I hadn’t
written a single thing since then. I finished a draft of the latest book in the
“Ezekiel March” saga that week, but that was it. I went back to school, came
home, ate, studied, and went to bed. This was my life. The only thing about
this is…I don’t remember any of it. I don’t remember what happened that
Christmas. I don’t remember much of anything that happened last quarter in
college. Hell, to be honest, I can barely tell you what happened before I sat
down to write this post. Most of my day-to-day interactions with the world are
lost to me if I don’t write them down, and I have no recollection of people who
I have known for years. All that I had to keep me grounded in my normal
activity was my strict, almost unnecessarily disciplined, daily schedule. It
would look like this:

0300 to 0700 – Rise, prayer, gym,
write, read, shower and shave

0700 to 1200 – Classes

1200 to 1250 – Mass

1300 to 1600 – Study

1600 to 1900 – Family time,
housework

1900 to 2100 – Study,
entertainment, rest

This was pretty much my schedule,
Monday to Friday. It never changed, never moved, never altered. On weekends,
though the scheduling was a tad bit less disciplined, there would still be
requirements to be adhered to:

•          Study – 3 hours

•          Write – 1 hour

•          Read – 2 hours

I was doing quite well and was
feeling fine. I could keep myself grounded in my schedule, finding peace in the
thought that, if I didn’t remember what happened yesterday, at least I knew
that I followed my daily schedule and adhered to my daily requirements. Then,
for reasons that escape me, I stopped, and I felt miserable.

     It started off being a reprieve! I could sleep in; I felt a bit more relaxed and I
felt like I was a tad bit liberated from my rigor. It was only after wasting
time on YouTube and watching television, I began to realize more and more that
I was wasting what little I could remember. I wasn’t nearly as productive. I
failed a class. I began to feel like everything was falling apart, and I began
to think those dark thoughts which most people who live in constant pain and
have brain damage begin to have when they feel this pathetic. After months of
feeling idle, feeling hopeless and feeling like I was never going to amount to
anything more than what I had achieved at this point, I tried to better
understand what was going on with me.

            That was when I was reminded of what made me so productive in the first place:
taking action!

            It was the act of actually doing something, even when I didn’t feel like it that
made me feel better. No matter what was going on, I could at least say that I
had adhered to the schedule and had accomplished something that day. No matter
what was going on in my life, I could say that I had written my requirements
for that day, read a book that day, spent time cleaning the house, kept up with
the requirements I had for myself for that day. This is what kept me from going
to a completely dark and dismal place, one where too many people in my
situation find themselves and make a permanent solution to their temporary
situation.

            Keeping a consistent schedule is the most effective way
to be successful in life. When we are persistent, we are striving towards a
goal every day, always growing and always adhering to a goal. When adhering to
these goals, one will always find success in their physical, mental, social,
and spiritual disciplines. When we will ourselves to strive
towards adhering to this premise, we ensure that there is always a portion of
our day, every day, which is always in our control. What creates unhappiness
and confusion in most of our lives is the feeling of a lack of control. This
comes from adhering to another’s schedule, placing their priorities above our
own, and building towards objectives that we do not deem essential. It is our
responsibility to be the captain of our soul, and our responsibility to ensure
that we are steering the ship ourselves. One does this by striving towards this
by conquering the day, every day, at a time that we can control. Set a time,
set the priority, and work towards them every day.

Fireside Chat: There's No Excuse for Ignorance

I hear it all the time about how cell phones, social media, and the information age is a disease killing youth. My response has always been the same: DAMN I HATE A STRAWMAN! Never before in the history of mankind has it been easier to learn a language, watch a movie, look up on what your second cousin twice-removed is doing half way across the world. It’s amazing how many people run their own businesses, go to college, or manage fundraisers wherever they are, at the touch of a button. To be honest, I enjoy it quite a lot. Without, I wouldn’t have ever been able to get my books out and afford my fountain pens. Despite some of the shortfalls which come from a connected world, society has benefited greatly from all of the world’s information being held inside of one’s pocket. However, the introduction of information being readily available has called for the death of something else: ignorance.

            I had a conversation the other day, all thanks to social media, about the nauseating Mueller Report and the current Trump Impeachment investigation. Normally I don’t respond to these things, but this guy is someone I usually make an exception about. Even if we get nowhere, I end up at least getting some substance about whatever we are talking about. This time, however, I managed to walk blindly into a dumpster fire! It started with someone posting that Trump is not getting impeached, which caused me to comment that I believe the DNC is so stupid for doing this, considering how well the Mueller probe went for them, and that I believe it will end the same way that all of the other investigations went: with the Blowfish Mentality, nothing but air. Now, I do admit that I believe that this was my first mistake, seeing as the guy who put up the original post did it to be a troll. However, it was then asked why I thought Trump wouldn’t be impeached. This led down a rabbit hole where the other guy argued substance about everything other than the ACTUAL report. References to Nixon to convictions of 34 others in the Trump Campaign to mentioning Alexander Hamilton’s Federalist Letter 66, but nothing was mentioned from the ACTUAL report. My reply was thus:

Vol. 1 p.2 speaks about the fact that collusion isn't a specific charge in US code, and states that the investigation is more on a conspiracy. Vol. 1 p.175 states that no one in the Trump campaign participated with the Russian "Active Measures" social media campaigns. Vol. 2 p. 74 outlines the fact that firing Comey was not an obstructive act, since the investigation would have continued without him anyway. p. 75 clarifies why Comey was fired, stating that Comey told the president three separate times he was not under investigation, which would piss me off, so i don't blame him. p. 112 states that Jeff Sessions was not directed to end the investigation, he just wanted to be treated fairly and wanted the same intensity placed on Hillary Clinton's email scandals. p. 157 CLEARLY and DIFINATIVELY states that "the evidence does not establish that the President was involved in an underlying crime related to Russian election interference". What follows are Mueller's "implications", Mueller's "hints", nothing that states "Yes, President Donald Trump stole the election under the help of Putin”.

I then replied afterwards:

            Would you like the transcript too? I have that as well.

I won’t lie, that last one was kind of petty.

            My point is this: The Mueller Report is available to the public. The minute it was, I bought a copy, but you can read it online here. Before I made an opinion about it, guess what? I read the damn thing! When Mueller spoke before Congress, guess what? I watched the damn thing! When the Ukraine phone call became declassified, you get the picture. As a bonus, you can read that here. The point is that no one has an excuse for not being in the know anymore, and to be honest, I have no patience for ignorant people anymore. It is so rich to hear nothing but talking points from “experts” spewing from the mouths of every polarized idiot who listens. Whether its Right-leaning or Left-leaning, I hate to hear the bile of others come out of the mouths of those who couldn’t be bothered to do their own homework. If someone is ignorant today, then they are willingly ignorant.

            I’m not going to hold my tongue with the uninformed anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I used to chock it up to them not having enough time to do their research. I used to be the polite conservative, nod my head, accept the metaphorical slaps and respond in a professional tone. Indeed, I would innocently accept that this person was just another one of those who were totally okay with not being in the know. The rise of the internet brought the fall of my previous belief in the way that people argue in terms of substance. This willfulness to accept what is said to you about something instead of looking at it for yourself angers me, not only with the Left, but also the Right. The truth of the matter is that no one can be uninformed today unless they choose to be. Much like how a horse can be brought to the water but cannot be made to drink, someone can have Google on their phone but cannot be made to look up a document. It goes to show that it’s not that we don’t have enough time, but rather that we waste much of it. Instead of playing with filters on Instagram, maybe you should educate yourself before making an opinion on a subject that you know nothing about.

Fireside Chat: Learning from Hiatus

            The past several weeks, I have been working more on my family and my everyday life, making it difficult to make time for my writing. During this time, however, I have had the time to think about what I want to write about and making the itch to write something nearly unbearable. I am a firm believer in the concept of “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

            Have you ever had something that you love slowly become a chore? Does it feel like it is regimented, making you lose the love that you originally had? Do you feel like your hobby or outlet has become monotonous, making you morose and sucking the life out of what you originally enjoyed? When we regiment leisure to the point that there is no more enjoyment, you are doing something wrong. So, instead of regiment, ensure that you begin and you start with love and intrigue. Ensure that your love rises above your anger, encouraging you to perform your activity for enjoyment and make the feeling seem less wearisome. The truth of the matter is a simple one: perform your hobby when you feel happiness for it instead of misery. As the farmer only sews a seed which he desires can he manage his property; in the same way, do not push yourself further and further away from that for which you enjoy.  

Fireside Chat: Amusing Ourselves to Death

            The 21st Century is awesome! Never before, in the history of the world, has it been easier to connect with others, learn anything that we desire and watch television at any time. We can become celebrities overnight, thanks to YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram. In fact, millions of people have found ways to make a living through this connected web of systems of entertainment, whether they are starring, directing or producing such shows or music. Truly, it has never been easier for someone to obtain fortune, fame and notoriety in this day and age. Honestly, one of the few reasons that I have been able to make money through book sales is due to the interconnectedness of this world. Many of my own followers have been found through this method alone. Anywhere, anytime, in any place, a star can be made or destroyed by the courts of public opinion.

            What is even more fascinating is that we have the choice of learning everything that we could ever imagine AND be entertained at any time, but the word boredom still exists. No one goes anywhere without a cell phone, dead zones for reception are becoming more few and far in-between, and we can find events around us with a quick Google search. Entertainment is everywhere and everyone has access to it. But, as fate would have it, we have plenty of people who claim that they have nothing going on in their lives, and they have nothing to do. There are dozens of streaming services, thousands of websites devoted to learning and hundreds of thousands of social media sites dedicated by subject. And this isn’t counting all of the content on Facebook, Instagram and Reddit. With all of these sources, we are still bored?

            In a Polemic, I wrote about Jay B. Nash and his book, “Spectatoritis”, and how he defined the phenomena as a way of engaging in passive amusement in order to eliminate boredom. If he thought this way in the 1930’s, I cannot imagine what he would think about the modern era! Passivity, he claimed, is the death of the soul and I could not agree more. If you don’t believe me, ask someone who works 60 hours a week if they are ever bored. The problem with society is that fewer and fewer people have any kind of purpose in life. Where there is less passion, there is less purpose; wherever there is less purpose, there is a breeding ground for boredom, which leads into a rise for depression. In the modern era, the Western World faces an epidemic of where the well-off are more likely than blue-collar people to commit suicide. I would initially think that the truth would be the reverse, as the lower classes tend to face more problems than the upper class. What is the difference here? What causes them to make decisions about whether or not to take their lives?

            When I was young, I noticed some of the elderly who were in an assistant living facility. Most of them were still happy, though they couldn’t live in their own homes safely. There was a man there who didn’t interact with the other residents in the home, didn’t really come out of his room and would not speak to anyone. Before he had come to the home, he had been a Captain in the Army before working as a Police Officer for thirty-five years, becoming a detective in the process. By his count, he had not stopped working for fifty years of his life. However, when he had turned sixty-eight, he wasn’t able to continue his work anymore and had been forced to retire. A year later, his wife died. A year after this, his sons made him go into an assistant living facility. Not even six months had gone by before he had passed away. Before, when he had a purpose in both his professional and personal life, he was healthy. When he died, he had high blood pressure, anxiety and suffered from early Alzheimer’s.

            Now, I’m not going to say that his loss of purpose caused all of his issues. However, the loss of purpose didn’t help things any. Keep in mind, this was a man who lost his purpose for only a couple of years and he died from the depression caused by it. I wonder what that means for those of us who fill our days with passive amusement. Does this mean that we are just delaying the inevitable? Are we just giving ourselves the illusion of not being depressed? Or, more worrying, are we delaying the gratification of having a purpose due to our actions not aligning with the lives of those who we deem more accomplished in the amusement we consume? It is a dangerous game and one which eventually leads us towards a life destined for depression. The cure? Find something to give your life meaning in four categories:

Number 1: Physical

            Whether you are into cycling, running, swimming, weightlifting, or you just want to knock off some extra pounds through calisthenics, studies have shown that exercise has many positive effects on the human psyche. Our memory tends to clarify, our risk of stroke and heart disease decreases and, most importantly, it aids in the increase of happiness and the decrease of depression. This is common knowledge to most people and yet most ignore it. Therefore, do yourself a favor and get moving!

Number 2: Mental

            Whether you are studying to get a degree, doing a course for a job promotion or simply cracking open and reading a book, your mental exercise is equally as important as your physical one. This part is probably more ignored than the first one, and it’s a shame, seeing that we have more access than ever to learn something. Now, I’m not saying that you should dive into Shakespeare and Vidal, but learning how to change your tire or fix a leaky faucet is a start. Simply put, just continue to learn each and every day. It does not have to be something that can change the world. Just start with something that interests you and then go from there.

Number 3: Social

            Nothing causes depression faster than the feeling of being alone. We usually are alone when WE feel that we are incapable of being loved or cared for, not because others are telling us this. There is always someone that is out there who will love us, who will care for us and who will be there for us. One needs to find friends, loved ones and family. It’s practically in our DNA to be in groups and the most inhuman thing that a person can do is ignore it. By placing less value in others, we place an even lesser value upon ourselves.

Number 4: Spiritual

            Whether you are a Christian, Muslim, Jewish or an Atheist, there is something in our lives which resonates with us in this manner. Whether it is attending church, reading scripture or meditation, there is something that we do which gives us optimism, some kind of ritual which allows our thoughts to transcend our current situation. No matter what is going on in our lives, humans need to have an outlet where they can feel closer to something greater than ourselves, some form of ritual which gives us perspective.

            By having something in our lives that gives us purpose in these four categories, we will be elevating the four most important aspects of our lives, leading to a future that we can be proud to have.

It's a Process

I decided that, through the week, I was going to try something a bit different than my usual weekly or bi-weekly format. I will begin writing something known as a Process essay once a week on topics ranging from economic development, to what makes someone a troll to what kind of person uses their free time to write essays that a college professor didn’t demand them to write. They’ll all be relatively short, maybe 500 to 2,000 words or so, but I will do my best to give you an informative opinion on the topic at hand.

            The way I write a Process is different from what you see on Wikipedia. Most are kind of like those troubleshoot pages in the back of an engineering textbook, labeling every piece of how something works from beginning to end, talking about which bolt goes where and is a step by step guide to bring you to a conclusion. This format isn’t something that anyone, including myself, would enjoy to read, much less write. Therefore, I will make a couple of changes to the format. First, I am going to begin at the end point. From there, I will begin to break down whatever the topic is until I reach the starting point. For example:

We have a car.

The car was assembled on the assembly line.

The parts that were sent to the assembly line were manufactured in a plant from metal and plastic

Etc.

I promise that it won’t be that dry, but you see my point. My goal in this little experiment is twofold. First, too often I begin a project with no clear ending in mind. Second, I would like to be able to train my mind (and yours, if you are willing) to see the mechanics of a situation before I dive right into a conversation, an activity or occupation. I believe that having the ability to see all of the pieces and how they work together is crucial if one wants to be able to troubleshoot their life, find weaknesses and learn how to see a situation at every angle.

            Stay tuned, because the first one will be out this week!

Free Speech Vs. Hate Speech

Here is another topic which is in desperate need of clarity. From the left, any speech which causes emotional harm is hateful and must be regulated. From the Right, you have the right to say anything you like, whenever you like and however you like, provided that it is not a call to action. From firsthand experience, the argument over what is and isn’t free speech summons many ideas and often, these ideas lead to conflict when they are presented together. The Right argues that speech is speech, no matter how others feel about it. On the left, any ideas which cause emotional, psychological or social status trauma, is in need of being condemned and regulated. The truth of this matter is quite difficult to find and different opinions arise whenever the First Amendment is concerned. What is to be done in a manner which is written on paper, taking it at face value that our founding fathers wrote it down or offer our own context? It is crucial that this matter is resolved so that we may move on to more important matters. Once again, I have my own personal bias towards such matters, but will try my best to hold any and all of my opinions until the conclusion.

            First, a little backstory. On 16 December 1966, the United Nations General Assembly proposed The International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR), a multicultural treaty which declared “any advocacy of national, racial or religious hatred that constitutes incitement to discrimination, hostility or violence shall be prohibited by law"[i]. Though this is a declaration which has been enforced since 23 March 1976, nearly every country which has signed and ratified the ICCPR have different interpretations of it. Laws against hate speech can be divided into two categories: those which intend to preserve public order and those intended to protect human dignity. Those designed to protect public order require a higher threshold be violated, so they are not specifically enforced frequently. For example, while in Northern Ireland only one person has been found guilty of violation of their hate speech laws while Hate Speech laws in Canada, Denmark, France, Germany and the Netherlands tend to be more frequently enforced[ii].

            The laws regarding hate speech throughout the world can be divided into two types: those intended to preserve public order and those intended to protect human dignity. This is something for which I do agree with and is a point which I will give hate speech ideologues, to a point. Preserving public order is essential in the hopes to retain order in the modern era. Iceland’s hate speech law states that action will be taken when “Anyone who in a ridiculing, slanderous, insulting, threatening or any other manner publicly assaults a person or a group of people on the basis of their nationality, skin colour, race, religion or sexual orientation, shall be fined or jailed for up to 2 years”[iii]. In the Netherlands,  Article 137c proclaims that "He who publicly, orally, in writing or graphically, intentionally expresses himself insultingly regarding a group of people because of their race, their religion or their life philosophy, their heterosexual or homosexual orientation or their physical, psychological or mental disability, shall be punished by imprisonment of no more than a year or a monetary penalty of the third category”[iv]. These two examples simply regulate bigotry and hold those who discriminate others accountable for their actions by law and offer punishment for their actions. These are just two of the many forms of hate speech laws all around the world which make the attempt to ensure that order is kept throughout the populous.

However, the many definitions of hate speech causes issues among those outside of governments all over the world. For one, there is no ubiquitously accepted hate speech. Someone may insult someone openly in America and not be punished. However, the implying of the same insult could be made in Canada and would lead to imprisonment if you insulted "any section of the public distinguished by colour, race, religion, national or ethnic origin, age, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression or mental or physical disability"[v]. However, if you were insulting someone due to a mental or physical disability in Denmark, you’re off the hook according to their hate speech law[vi]. You could insult Islam in both of the previous countries, provided you didn’t point out anyone when mentioning the faith, but would face some issues in Jordan[vii]. One of the biggest concerns with hate speech laws regulated with legal action and facing criminal punishment is this: nearly EVERY form of speech can be twisted out of context and can ruin people’s lives.

Before I give my opinion, I will point out that I have left social media out of this conversation in its entirety. The reason that I have is a simple one: social media companies are their own entities and may allow or disallow whatever they wish, as is their right. In the same manner, I do believe that there needs to be certain laws concerning speech? I do. However, remember those two goals of hate speech laws from earlier? They are:

·         those intended to preserve public order

·         those intended to protect human dignity

Of the first point, there are several points for which I believe all those on either side of this issue may agree upon. For one, you cannot threaten to kill, assault or call to violence against others for which you do not agree with. Second, you cannot call towards any action which may cause violence, ergo the “can’t yell fire in a theatre when there is no fire”. This is speech which causes violence, but does not include a jackass who says something which offends someone.

This is where I get into where they lose me. What protects human dignity? Is the human dignity line when a racist comment is said? Is the human dignity ideal violated when a “microaggression” is spoken? Is it when someone who is across the room from you points, making you feel uncomfortable and singled out? The best way that I can demonstrate my thought process on this matter would be to provide a script, pointing out where and when I believe someone could be in violation of hate speech(DISCLAIMER: This example is graphic, but only to show what I believe and what I don’t believe is considered a crime and what isn’t. You’ve been warned!):

Neo-Nazi: I hate chinks, pollocks and Negros.

Asian man: Why are you so mean?

Neo-Nazi: Go back to the rice patty and leave this country!

Jewish woman: Why would you support mass genocide?

Neo-Nazi: Because Hitler was a great man and the world would’ve been better without Israel.

Black man: What did we ever do to you?

Neo-Nazi: Get back to the cotton fields!

Bystander: (pulls out baseball bat) I’m gonna kick your ass!

            Let’s review this one act play. Did the Neo-Nazi say hurtful things? Absolutely! Did he bring up old wounds of the past and make the entire populous of White people look terrible? Without a shadow of a doubt, yes! However, was the bystander in the wrong when he threatened the Neo-Nazi with violence? Actually, yes. This is where I believe people get confused when it comes to hate speech laws. The racist bigot can say whatever he likes, at least in the United States, without any repercussions short of being removed from wherever he is currently vomiting this venom and forever be labeled as a racist piece of dirt. Why is he allowed to say these things without any legal ramifications? Because of The First Amendment. He has every right to defame himself and be looked down upon by every decent human being. He is allowed to bury himself in the court of public opinion. Could he gain some supporters if he is still allowed to spread such bile? Probably, but minorities always lose if their ideas are an antonym of the view of the majority.

            This is the problem with this world today. If someone does not like what others say, then they are evil. If they are evil, they must be judged by the court of public opinion, by the court of their peers and family and in the courthouse. If ideas idolized through this concept are taken to the extreme, then everyone on Earth would find themselves in the hot seat, no matter what they intended. In this way, a compliment could be seen as “cat-calling”. Instead of policing our morals and values, we will have to look over every word we say, where we say them and how loud or soft we must say such words. By building a basis of legal proceedings in this manner, everyone will be guilty of causing someone, somewhere, somehow, an offense due to our words. What kind of a curmudgeon would place such an albatross around everyone on Earth’s neck? Must we carry around a checklist on our words, ensuring that we always stay to a metric to avoid jail time for what we say? Calls to actions are violence; taking offense by taking someone’s speech out of context is ignorance.  

[i] International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, Article 20

[ii] Bell, Jeannine (Summer 2009). "Restraining the heartless: racist speech and minority rights". Indiana Law Journal. 84: 963–79. Retrieved 9 October 2014.

[iii] Article 233 a.

[iv]  Dutch penal code – article 137c

[v] "Consolidated federal laws of canada, Criminal Code". laws-lois.justice.gc.ca. Legislative Services Branch.

[vi] Danish Penal code, Straffeloven, section 266 B.

[vii] "Jordan, Combined reports submitted for 1999, 2001, 2003, 2005, and 2007", Reports submitted by States parties under article 9 of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination, Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination, United Nations, 21 September 2011, accessed 13 September 2012

Letting Go of the Past

                It’s coming up to almost two years out from being in the HUMV rollover. I look in my wallet and see the Retirement Card, and I have mixed feelings concerning it. On the one hand, I have done what I desired to do, retire from the military and obtained the status of Veteran. On the other hand, the Disabled part is what is gnawing at me. Seven procedures and twelve pills a day has brought me to a somewhat functional state. I hope that, as time goes by, I will have a better grasp on my pain and will be able to move on from all of this. However, no matter how stubborn I am, no matter how high my pain tolerance gets or how long I try to for long the inevitable, there are days which are terrible. There are Sundays where I cannot get to church that morning because of the pain. There are events where I have to leave early due to discomfort and there are times where I need my cane. I try to lie to myself because I’m almost as strong now as I ever have been. I try to lie to myself through my accomplishments, through all that I have written and through all that I am able to understand. I try to baffle with bullshit what I cannot blind with brilliance. However, as much as I can lift, there are too many times when its hard for me to lift myself out of bed. I can ruck three miles in under an hour, yet there are so many times where I cannot walk without taking breaks, using my cane or avoiding walking all together. Too many times the pain sinks in and I cannot do anything to avoid it. My only saving grace is those brief hours when the pain pills take effect or they put me to sleep. I wouldn’t wish this on my mortal enemy. I need to realize that this is the new normal for me and that I am currently the best that I ever will be.

                My memory has increased exponentially from what it once was. I went from not remembering anything from five minutes ago to having a loose grip on my short-term memory. However, my memory is no where near what it used to be. To date since the head injury, I have filled nine notebooks worth of daily activities. By my estimate, I’ve penned over 600,000 words. If I keep this up, I’ll have one of the longest journals in history, passing Samuel Pepes this year. Not a world record I was going for, but interesting none the less. In addition, I have learned a whole lot about myself while trying to recover. For one, I never knew what kind of pain threshold I had. From the migraines to the nerve damage to the arthritis, most people wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning. As for me, I have done everything I can to get myself to a somewhat livable condition, both physically and mentally. Most of that has been reading, writing on this website and improving my physical strength and mobility. With any hope, I won’t need to worry about much until I have to have one of my three discs fused. It’s going to be fun when that day comes.

                Psychologically, I think I am doing okay. I’ve done my best to come to terms with my disabilities, learned how to accept what I am no longer able to do and have done my best to mold my life in such a way that I am in less pain than normal. I learned that I have to do most of my work in the mornings, have to have more routine in order to grasp most of my day and not have to write it down and have to build my life in accordance with systemization. In all, I believe that I am doing well when it comes to navigating my life through my physical and mental limitations. However, there are things which bother me. It was difficult to learn that I can no longer front squat. I fell off when I tried to ride a bike. I collapsed when I tried to run (to be fair, I made it a hundred yards before I fell). I look at others my age and see them go about their lives, heedless of the gift it is to be whole. I don’t mean to be angry at people who didn’t choose the line of work I did but it makes me angry that what happened to me was preventable. I hear people talk about my survival being a miracle and it makes me sick. What kind of miracle is it to be twenty-three and being in constant pain? What kind of miracle is it to watch all of your dreams fall apart right in front of your eyes? What kind of miracle is it when you see the looks of pity from others? I know that my injuries changed my future, my ambitions and my life forever. What bothers me is that I get a constant reminder of it from the faces of those around me. Why can’t they realize that?

                One of the biggest things which bothers me is the fact that people told me “congratulations” when I received my proposed Disability ratings from the VA. Congratulations for what? My plans for a future, my dreams, going up in smoke? Congratulations for the fact that you will never receive that Sargant rank but will receive a paycheck based on how broken you are? Congratulations on being used goods as far as the military is concerned? I went off on a couple of people when they told me this, mostly because the three of these things went right through my mind when that word was said. I don’t think people realize how I wanted to be a soldier since I was eight years old gazing at my Step-Father’s Vietnam medals. I don’t think they understand how passionate I was about wearing that uniform and serving in combat. I begged for deployments, did whatever was asked of me and desired nothing more than to serve my country. They don’t understand how close to the bone this yearning was for me. Hell, doing so nearly took my life.

                The only thing that all of this didn’t take from me was my name. I will not let my injuries take that from me. I will not allow the pain, the anger and the loss of my purpose to take this from me. I will not let this feeling forsake my final piece of identity. My answer was to start writing the “Ezekiel March” series, my non-fiction works and all of the essays. I wanted nothing more than to recreate myself and grant myself a new purpose in life. I will continue with my writing, my degrees and in my strength. I will focus on greatness in my new sense of self, moving into a higher sense of self-actualization and into self-transcendence. If this is my true identity from now on, I will embrace it. I will move on from what I once was and will lead into what I desire to be.

The Failure Mindset

One must only be elated by work which is truly their own. By taking credit for work which others have done, we will provide ourselves the delusion of superiority over our peers. By seeking gratitude from the success of our children, the success of our parents and through the effort of our peers, our own conceit will begin to multiply throughout our lives, entering ever fiber of our being. By building a basis for life through the success of others, we begin to become dependent on their success for our stability. Our self-worth will cease to come from us and we will rely upon the deeds of others to find fulfillment. No more will we rely on our actions, words or deeds for a fruitful existence; instead of striving for greatness through our achievement, we begin to believe that what does not kill us makes us weaker. These thoughts transfigure our internal drive for self-betterment into a delusion known as learned helplessness. The rider cannot take credit for the agility of the horse. In the same manner, we muse ensure that we learn how to value the works of our hands and therefore learn independence for ourselves. Only then will we glean the ability to stay true to ourselves.